'b' is for Band and 'S' is for 'Agent Scar'
Works under consideration: 3
Dark Angels in my sight: 1
Films to write: 1
Talking of rubbish: Yesterday’s Newspaper
'b' is for Band
I like music. Well I like REAL music. Well I like everything except JazzZombies. I have my own band. I don’t play in it but I have carried drum equipment behind and down the length of a very long London bar. And yes I did get to say it “I’m with the band.” The following is how I imagine my band goes about it’s everyday business.
b is the bass.
Spen is the guitar hero
Dave counts to four and repeats
INT/NIGHT
B’S FLAT
SPEN:
B?
B:
Yes Spen?
SPEN:
I think this is an excellent spot for a gig but a little small.
B:
We’re not actually there yet Spen. This is my kitchen.
SPEN:
Dave is a bit quiet. YOU ALRIGHT Dave?
DAVE: (shouting)
BANG! BANG! CRASH, CRASH, BANG, BANGBANG, BANG TINKLE!
SPEN:
Don’t tell me…
B:
I’m afraid so. He’s talking in pure drum kit again. I suppose it’s only to be expected after that incident with the Harry Potter book, the Marshall amp, and the Directors Commentary of Spinal Tap.
SPEN:
And the bolt of lighting. Well at least the floor is level.
B:
How can you tell?
SPEN:
Because our drummer is dribbling from both sides of his mouth.*
- END -
More from ‘b’ and the chaps (BTW the band is called called HEAD, they are very real and I haven’t changed their names because they are guilty) another time.
I have a film to write (well ten pages and a half page synopsis) and ten days to do it in. Crikey!
'S' is for 'Agent Scar'
INT/NIGHT
JIM SLIPS INTO A SLUMBER. A CAT, ‘AGENT SCAR’ WANDERS PAST. LOOKS SUPERIOR AND WANDERS TO BED.
“ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz Hicc! ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”
JIM: (waking up)
What was that?
AGENT SCAR: (sotto voce)
You just slept through your destiny human.
SCAR PURRS A LONG PURRR OF SATISFACTION AND EXITS CAT FLAP LEFT
- END -
* Joke Homage No: 317
First attributed to John Lennon
Labels: agent scar, head, JazzZombies
posted by JimKin @ 7:40 pm
7 comments
7 Comments:
...and "F" is for "the Freakin' pic won't load in my browser and I feel completely left out of some private nuance."
...and, my ex having been a great (oooh. Heavy on the "great") PROfessional musician, I know that "R" is for "Roadie", of which I was one, also. Never occurred to me to say "I'm with the band." I guess I was too busy yelling, "Hey! Lay off my man!" without dropping my end of the Dean Markley.
Now I have the picture loading! Typical Internet Voodoo Gremlins at large...
So 'LR' is for Lion Rock. I like the idea of a band with teeth and long roars...
:-) I'm more used to the bands with hangovers and long belches. A change may be in order here... can I hang out with you for awhile?
Of course they have to be English Lions who apologise for eating you and wish you a safe journey through their gullet...
English Lions would never belch in front of a Lady.
How does one 'hang' with a Canadian Lady?
Yours,
Interested of England
;-)
From a rope, silly!
Hey! Who you callin' a "lady"?! I prefer "broad".
Dear Broad,
I can't see you hanging from a rope. Perhaps dangling blissfully from a large Oak tree, thus avoiding lions, crocodiles, reality, and bills.
Jim
Currently on plan Z/ii(amended). Next step a monastery in Tibet.
Thanks for writing this.
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