300… Marketing Girls

I use mine for shopping


Works under consideration: 4
Dark Angel: Sympathy with the dentist
Pyrates: ???
First Thought this morning: ‘I’ve missed Saturday’
State of Mind: Viking Presbyterian
Comedy Writing WordMix: Green Wing – Funnel Web – Curious – Puddle – Britney – Mrs Tony Blair – 42” General Election.

300
Yes I watched it for the fact that the Spartans were mostly played by Scotsmen. Great graphically but hokey in the acting-more-macho-than-Matt-‘sugar-boy’-Damon-we’re-not-Fascist-no-not-a-bit.

If you were stuck in the Gates of Fire who would you choose to be on your right shoulder? That’s right choose marketing girls. They will be armed with lots of spreadsheets, just the right amount of electrical gadgets, be wearing something ‘pretty-floral.’ And of course they were “…just going to say that.” They’ll tell you the response rate of every ‘Immortal’ with an arrow in his chest and suggest a follow up campaign involving fold out shields, and a beautifully written letter with all the features of having your head chopped off by a large, abs-obsessed Hoplite with anger management issues. So AngelA what is the ‘Call to Action? “Erm, my text book says the most responsive one at this point in our time is ‘Visit a surgeon.”
“Too late AngelA because They’re feck’in dead.”

Don’t choose marketing – choose life.*

“BOOM-BOOM, BOOM-BOOM, BOOM-BOOM, BOOM-BOOM”

Where was I? O’ yes Marketing Girls, well.

“BOOM-BOOM, BOOM-BOOM, BOOM-BOOM, BOOM-BOOM”

Could you just re-read the last bit while I sort out this Boom-Boom business?

CWiW:
TREVOR!

TREVOR APPEARS FROM BEHIND A BOOK CASE. HIS FLIPPERS ARE SLIGHTLY DUSTY AND A FISH TAIL POKES OUT OF THE SIDE OF HIS BEAK. HE WADDLES TO THE COMEDY WRITER IN WAITING DESK

TREVOR: (coughing slightly)
Yes ‘Comedy Writer in Waiting?

CWiW:
Could you take Muddy outside so he can entertain the neighbours with his ‘John Lee Hooker’ impression?

TREVOR:
Muddy! Muddy!

MUDDY:
BOOM-BOOM, BOOM-BOOM, BOOM-BOOM, BOOM-BOOM

TREVOR AND MUDDY WADDLE OUT THE BACK DOOR SCATTERING A BUNCH OF JAZZZOMBIES WHO HAVE BEEN GATHERED IN THE SHADE COMPARING ‘CLARINETS’

I never get any peace around here. I just want to write something about my lack of progress with my master plan to take over the InterWebThing and a Blues Singing Penguin and his ‘oppo’ start kicking up a fuss. Well ‘flipper-ing up a fuss.

Just a moment.

CWiW: (Shouting out the Window)
Stay away from the trampoline!

Sorry about that. I don’t want a penguin coming through the window, covering me in shards of glass and fish scales, and most of all I don’t want another verse of ‘Boogie Chillin.’

I seem to be writing a blog and not getting on with writing my Internet Character Blips. The idea is to film these for my upcoming Web sites and other video type sites. I have the ideas, I also have a competition to enter, and I’m not finding the time!!! Triple !!! with dingly-dangly-knobs-a’poppin!!!

I have this character 'Mr Anonymous’ which I’m hopping to develop and…

THREE NEATLY DRESSED PYRATES ENTER THE COMEDY WRITER IN WAITING BLOG FROM LEFT TO RIGHT

CWiW:
Look I’ve told you lot before! Not when I’M WRITING!

CAPTAIN NICE:
A pardon good sir but we have no food. Our vittles have run out and Woody is suffering from several termites. One appears to be boring in his peg nose.

CWiW:
I’m busy!

GRANITE STARTS PICKING CRUMBS FROM HIS BEARD

CWiW: (cont.)
Don’t you dare!

GRANITE MUTTERS SOMETHING AND STARTS TO TOY WITH THE RABBIT ON HIS SHOULDER

CWiW: (cont.)
And why have you got a rabbit on your shoulder?

GRANITE:
The Parrot is in Vienna on tour.

CWiW:
I’ve told you before…why has your rabbit only got one ear?

WOODY:
SHARON!

CAPTAIN NICE:
Shhhh!

GRANITE:
He’s a fighting rabbit, very rare aren’t you Goliath?

CWiW:
Look I’m busy. Why don’t you try one of the other blogs on the right of this one and see if they’ve got any ‘vittels!’ Try that one - James Henry and his Blue cat. He must have something… or there’s that one ‘Where the Walls are Soft’ Very good…

WOODY:
SHARON!

CWiW:
Will you shut up about that fish!

CAPTAIN NICE:
But he loved her.

CWIW:
Look pop over to ‘Where the Walls are Soft’aka Les aka ‘The Right-Hand-Sycophant.’ I hear there’s some cat chow on offer.

GRANITE:
BELIKE LIKE ME!

CAPTAIN NICE:
Very well. We shall return when your temper is more even. Come on Sharon. I mean Woody.

THE PYRATES HEAD NORTH FROM THE CWiW BLOG. SNIFFING THE AIR AND LOOKING QUITE HAPPY. WOODY SCRATCHES HIS PEG NOSE WITH HIS PEG HANDS.

GRANITE:
Aye Golaith Cat chow. We’re in luck…

GOLAITH:
YumYum!

WOODY:
SHARON!

- END -

I’m going to get a coffee and then write something of note…

Tune into the next blog
And maybe hear from ‘Mr Anonymous’ get around to the FireJuice, dance with a pretty lady and find time to write about the InterWebworldDominationThing.


MUDDY: (V.O.)
BOOM-BOOM, BOOM-BOOM, BOOM-BOOM, BOOM-BOOM!

“ARRRRHHHHHHHHH!”

CWiW: (looking into the back garden)
Feck! How am I going to explain to the gardening team a JazzZombie flattened by an Blues Singing Emperor Penguin…again. Bugger.










*Yep I’m in marketing.