Stephen Fry's Garden

Works under consideration: 17 (still 17, yes still 17, Yep 17 again)
Dark Angel: Has taken over my shadow
JazzZombies in My Garden: 87 (17, yes 17 with Saxophones)
First Thought this morning: Must see ‘The Lives of Others.’
State of Mind: Clown Warrior
Comedy Writing WordMix: i, iPhone, iEat, iPo, iBreath, iFloppy, iMarketshinythings, icreate, iDon’tneedanymoreshinythingsjustabaconroll


They Never Met No: 2.97
Stephen Fry & Gunga Din


GUNGA DIN TIP TOES INTO MR FRY’S RADIANCE

STEPHEN FRY:
I thought you were just a poem Anyway enough of this Imperial flunky harking back to a time that never existed. I say walk free, head held high, into…

GUNGA DIN:
Water Sahib?

STEPHEN FRY:
Splendid.

GUNGA DIN POURS CLEAR WATER INTO A BATTERED TIN CUP

GUNGA DIN:
Thank you Sahib.

STEPHEN FRY:
Would you have any Sherry? Amontillado perhaps?

GUNGA DIN:
Yes sir.

GUNGA DIN POURS A GLASS OF THE DARK SHERRY

STEPHEN FRY:
And some Farley’s Rusks with cold milk?

GUNGA DIN PRODUCES RUSKS IN A BOWL AND POURS COLD CREAMY MILK OVER THEM

GUNGA DIN:
Anything else Sahib?

STEPHEN FRY:
Would you mind awfully hanging around and being my body servant for the rest of your natural life? A sort of Jeeves figure to my Jeeves character?

GUNGA DIN:
A pleasure Sahib.

STEPHEN FRY:
Splendid. You’re a better manservant than I Gunga Din. Is that your real name?

GUNGA DIN:
Actually it’s Kevin but you’re paying…

- END -


Stephen Fry – MegaMan
What a talented man full of humour; something you notice about great men of humour, they have humanity by the barrel-full. He’s just started a blog which you have to scroll three miles down and is solely concerned with ‘Shiny Things.’

If I had my way…
I’d turn the whole of Europe into Stephen’s garden. Imagine that. Close your eyes and think of the United Garden of Europe, with Stephen as the Queen Mother…

As the new power in the United Garden Stephen would order that every national government moves one country to the right (it depends which way you are facing at the time). The British government would take over The Netherlands, The Netherlands would move to Germany, The German government (well, best if they stay at home, a mini-break in Bavaria perhaps?) the Italians would move to Spain etc

This would force…
The Germans would be forced to travel everywhere by caravan, to the shops, to the doctor, to their shouting coach, and to work, The French would become aware that every country has cheese, the Italians would be made to wear the clothes we wear, and yes they’d still look damned sexy, The British would attempt to maintain tea and cricket but slowly absorb the casual vibe of Holland, tea would still be taken, but in a brothel, cricket would be played CASUALLY, after a good smoke, for five VERY LONG minutes, and they would bicycle with bike helmets and precise hand signals…


That’s the thing about stereotypes
They really exist.


Though I've belted you and flayed you,
By the livin' Gawd that made you,
You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din!
- Rudyard Kipling

Stephen Fry’s Garden or Brussels – YOU DECIDE!