Saturday, November 01, 2008

Employment Prospects for Mr Jonathan Ross and Mr Russell Brand*


What would you say to a nice job on Radio 2?

Works under consideration: 1
Current Dominant Thought: Twitter Sit Coms
Ideas in my head: 19.17


Actors…calling all Actors…ACTORS!
I’m in desperate need of some performers to put on my ‘Live Sit Com’ and can I find any? Can I bugger. I’ve looked all over the hills, dales, and ponds of Hertfordshire and found not one. I’ve contacted all the local theatre companies and not one bite.

Plan Bz0.12
I’ll have to join Shooting People and look at Talent Circle and I may end up paying them….ARSEBISCUITS!

S/FX: A SLIPPERY AND SIZZLING SOUND LIKE A LARGE TONGUE BEING DRAGGED OVER A FRESHLY WASHED LINOLEUM FLOOR

CWiW:
Hello?

JONATHAN ROSS:
I think I can help.

CWiW:
How can you help me? Have you got a performance company down your trousers?

JONATHAN ROSS:
Funny you should…

CWiW:
I said company. Anyway I need someone to entertain a suicide bomber.

JONATHAN ROSS:
I’m your man.

CWiW:
He’s over there in the blog next door. Put this dress on, start skipping, and whatever you do mention that you are a decadent dandy with no fear of beard-wearing murdering bigots.

S/FX BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

CWiW:
There goes the Internet. Still, leaves some space for the rest of us friendly types.

- END -


Random Mix
The Beach Boys v Bob Marley & The Wailers
‘God Only Knows Jamming’



*Jobs for Mr Russell Brand
1. Pipe Cleaner
2. Hare at a Greyhound Track
3. A stole to keep Gordon Brown’s neck warm

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