...is escapling to Dyslexia

All that clutters is gold

Works under consideration: 19
Dark Angel: Rejoined
Interruptions: Banditos
State of Mind: Atlas Does Dallas
Comedy WordMix: Peep-Show, Peep-Hole, Peep-Deep, Leap-Beep, Flip-Dip


Introduction
I’d like to introduce you to Spen. Part Guitarist, part Internet-WebGuru and part Klingon (in a nice sort of sharing way). He is helping and sharing my plan for World Domination via the WebInternetThingy and stealth marketing…Hence the picture above, which is really my desk, with my bits and bobs and will form the basis of a Web site which will bring me wealth and power or, well…a little recognition and folkychaps wishing to purchase or even commission my sillywritingviBE.

Spen took many pictures of the desk and of me. I might be brave and post my face such as it is…

S/FX: THE SOUND OF A CRICKET BALL BOUNCING ON A WELL OILED STRIP OF WILLOW.

JOSE:
Si. You woz OUT!

ALICANTE
It never touched me!

CWiW:
What are you two doing in my blog?

JOSE:
We were looking for somewhere flat to practice our off drives.

ALICANTE:
And the cover drive.

JOSE & ALICANTE:
SI!

THE BANDIDOS LAUGH AND TUG AT EACH OTHER’S MOUSTAGES

CWiW:
How many times do I have to tell you I’m not interested in cricket and the pair of you should be doing something Bandit like and not running a breakdown service in a small Buckinghamshire village!

JOSE & ALICANTE:
You bad man.

JOSE:
You have the right kind of face for film.

ALICANTE:
Si! Thirty days of Jim.

THE BANDITOS ROLL ABOUT THE BLOG. TIPPING IT SLIGHTLY TO THE LEFT AND ALMOST KNOCKING OVER A BLOG ABOUT FISHING IN MADAGASCAR

CWiW:
Are you suggesting that I am a Vampire?

JOSE:
No we’re saying you plain ugly for a good month!

ALICANTE TAKES UP GUARD. JOSE LOBS AN EASY BALL

S/FX: THWACK! CRASH.

CWiW:
Right I’m calling the Vicar.

JOSE & ALICANTE:
Please Bozz! Not the Holy Jo!

CWiW:
Yes and I’m sure he’ll bring a very deaf nun. So you could be on the Rosary all night.

THE BANDIDOS RUN SCREAMING OUT OF THE CWiW BLOG AND STRAIGHT INTO A FASHION BLOG DEDICATED TO THE LATE WORKS OF LAURA ASHLEY.

- END -

That told them.

Work in Progress
I have a lot out there and I wonder if anything will come to anything. I should find out soon from the BBC7 show. Or maybe not. Nothing from the Channel 4 4Laughs site either. All together...

We shall overcome
We shall overcome
We shall overcome some day

Chorus:
Oh deep in my heart
I do believe
We shall overcome some day

Tune Next Blog
For a picture of JimKin, the secret of being funny (just a couple of things I’ve learned), and why I say “Sausages!” to myself when I see a particular Canadian dancer.

Happy Manic Roses

Works under consideration: 17 (definitely 17)
Dark Angel Memory: 1
Banditos: 2
Zeitgeist: How are watersheds used?
State of Mind: Spartan

Happy Manic Roses
Juxtaposition is a great word. Just bung two or more things together to get some comedy value or combine some band names to make the ultimate 90’s group ‘Happy Manic Roses'

Rap and Surf?
How about the Beach Tang Clan?

How are watersheds used?
This is number 94 on the current google trends list. Well how would you use one? Would you try keeping your fish in it? Bathing perhaps? I think I’d use one to store my pumps.

Putin Dissolves Government
In at number 87 in the trends list. Did he? “Tired of your old Government? What to clean up those dirty rascals? Use Polonium-210.

Red Planet
Did I mention that my script for this competition bounced back? At least they opened up another email address and now the email says it’s SAFE!

Two Fun Characters
Jose and Alicante are two Mexican Bandits that I wrote in some sketches a while ago. The Juxtaposition? Well they’ve settled in Little Chalfont in Buckinghamshire to run a breakdown service and indulge in their favourite pastime, Cricket. They do have a tendency to menace and discuss leg side spin.*


INT/DAY
A SOFT FURNISHING STORE
MRS THOMAS IS ONE OF THOSE FORTHRIGHT ARROGANT CAREER WOMEN TYPES SMELLING OF CRABTREE & EVELYN SOAP AND THEIR OWN IMPORTANCE. BTW SHE'S JUST BEEN RATHER SNOBBY WITH THE NICE GIRL BEHIND THE COUNTER.

ALICANTE:
(TO MRS THOMAS) You Laura Ashley.

MRS THOMAS:
Not quite.

JOSE & ALICANTE LAUGH

JOSE:
No my little brother mean you like a Laura Ashley printed frock.

MRS THOMAS:
I don’t follow.

JOSE:
You twee.

MRS THOMAS:
How dare you.

JOSE:
It easy. Alicante - The Sunday Telegraph Magazine!

ALICANTE PRODUCES THE MAGAZINE FROM HIS TROUSERS

JOSE:
Page fifty one - The Mock pearls.

ALICANTE FLICKS THE PAGES AND HOLDS UP A PICTURE MRS THOMAS FINGERS HER PEARLS

JOSE:
Page eleven - The comfy two piece that make you look like a girl again. And you only twenty-one.

ALICANTE FLICKS THE PAGES AND HOLDS UP A PICTURE MRS THOMAS LOOKS UNCOMFORTABLE

JOSE:
And page Seventy four - The discrete erotic body stocking with stretch panels.

ALICANTE FLICKS THE PAGES AND PRESSES HIS NOSE AGAINST THE PICTURE

JOSE:
ALICANTE!

ALICANTE STOPS LICKING THE MAGAZINE

MRS THOMAS:
I have never...

JOSE & ALICANTE:
We know - Laura Ashley.

MRS THOMAS ‘STORMS’ OUT OF THE SHOWROOM

ALICANTE SLOWLY INSERTS THE SUNDAY TELEGRAPH MAGAZINE BACK INTO HIS TROUSERS

- END -

It's coming from the sorrow in the street,
the holy places where the races meet;
from the homicidal bitchin'
that goes down in every kitchen
to determine who will serve and who will eat.


*I’ve no idea what I’m talking about.