Repetitive Anecdote Syndrome

Heather Mills PR stunt goes horribly right

Works under consideration: 19
Dark Angel: Lost to me
Interruptions: Ruby
State of Mind: Mighty cat-herder
Comedy WordMix: Ronnie Barker Fork Handles, Ronnie Corbett comfy chair, Bark Handling Forks, Ronnie comforts Corbett chairs

Your back's against the wall
There's no one home to call
You're forgetting who you are
You can't stop crying
It's part not giving in
Part trusting your friends
You do it all again and I'm not lying
Standing in the Way of Control
- Gossip

When my back’s against the wall I eat chocolate, watch favourite movies, and listen to tunes that put some gumption back into my bones. Hence the lyrics above.

World Domination by Internet Stealth
This is my plan. I mean to do it with some cunning Web sites, video, and some startling use of SEO* but I keep ‘not finding the time.’

A DOOR OPENS IN THE BLOG
RUBY ‘A FERAL HOBBIT’ ENTERS

RUBY:
Oi! Writer! What you doing?

CWiW:
Ruby shouldn’t you be braiding your hair and chasing down conneys with your bare teeth?

RUBY:
Stop doing the distraction thing and pull your finger out! I’m sick of you not finding the time.

CWiW STARTS TYPING WITH ONE FINGER IN THE AIR

RUBY: (cont.)
Very funny. I told you. You’re not going to get anywhere mooning about ‘Dark Angels’ and writing this stuff.

CWiW: (typing so very fast)
In a moment of cunning ‘The Writer’ wrote Ruby back to Hobbiton.

RUBY:
No you don’t.

RUBY RUSHES AROUND THE BLOG TITLE AND STARTS KICKING THE CWiW IN THE SHINS

CWiW:
Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! Stop it.

RUBY:
Promise to get on with the video and stuff then.

CWiW:
OK. OK. OK. I promise.

RUBY:
And no more Dark Angels. They don’t really exist you know. And if you haven’t made two more videos by the end of the weekend I’m coming back with a Troll and a bucket of bacon rind.

STOMP, STOMP, STOMP

RUBY LEAVES THE BLOG THROUGH THE BACK DOOR

CWiW:
She’s right you know. I should get on with the creative stuff or I’ll never dominate the InterWeb and become a successful and contented/respected/writermancomic.

- END -

BTW

Repetitive Anecdote Syndrome
You must know a suffer. I bet you do. Usually they’re a boss and they have a limited amount of social skills but boy do they have anecdotes.

Here’s a tip

On the third repetition of the anecdote make a ‘Citizen’s Arrest.’ (it’s illegal to shoot them) Take them to the local ‘cop shop’ and hand them over saying “I have arrested this person for ‘Repetitive Anecdote Syndrome’ please sentence him to repeated viewings of ‘Friends’ until his head explodes.”


Tune in next Blog
And perhaps we’ll have a video to show.
A Hobbit might be polite.
And I may have written myself a Maserati Quatroporte GT


*Search Engine Ottomans
(I may have misheard this)

RUBY: (V.O.)
I'm warning you!