'And generally fart the national anthem...'

The Secret of my Failure

Rejections this year: 2
Works under consideration: 6
Optimism Level: Moderate
Anger Level: High

Today
Why am I angry? A simple equation Not enough time + Ambition = One Fucked off writer. I have a Sit Com ‘Captain Nice’ out in the world, which is good. A lot of demands on my time and so many interruptions that I could spit, kick a wall, defame a vicar, set fire to a minor MP (party optional), and generally fart the national anthem...

Snippet#1
You are your own medicine. I forget where I first came across this advice (I’ve just googled it and come up with Urine: Your own Perfect Medicine) but it is the only way to learn, learn from yourself. I’ve been to workshops and writing weekends (which were great, particularly the Arvon Foundation, www.arvonfoundation.org). Yet none of them came up with stuff that lends ammunition to your armoury.
How to do it?
Keep a diary or card index, or a database of what works for you when you write and what didn’t. I do it for every project and it pays off. Especially if you have a full time job and you keep coming back to projects. It helps you spot your weaknesses and what works for you…

Today’s Round Up
Never use emoticons, it makes you look like an arse. Learn some deep breathing or a martial meditation, don’t read blogs about writing, go and write. And never forget that Watford was the very first Weapon of Mass Destruction (Watford was banned under the Geneva Convention of 1934).

Note to self
Never, ever call yourself, self, try Tozzer or Abraham, or Mr Knob but never ‘Self’. I’ll concentrate on writing sketches for topical shows and forget about this blog. I have to get more work out in the world. And this week I’ll write two short films, two topical sketches, and finish yet another sit com. “Yeah, right.”

Shameless Plug
Looking for a partially worn comedy writer? See some examples
www.writewords.org.uk/jim_kinloch/
Do you like Head?
Visit www.head-uk.com/editor
and read ‘The Editor Inserts’